Maintaining the Home

Keeping up with the housework, laundry, meals, etc. while still trying to spend quality time with the family proves to be quite a challenge. Don't despair -- this FAQ contains some tips from seasoned parents of multiples. If nothing else, it will reassure you that you are not the only one "shoveling the driveway while it's still snowing!"

NOTE: You may come across some abbreviations within this FAQ that are common to the twins-L e-mail list, such as dh, LOL, etc. If you find an abbreviation you are not familiar with, you might be able to find it in our Twin Terms and Acronyms FAQ.

Recommended Resource: A visitor to this site has also recommended www.flylady.net

~ So Little Time ~

"I have always been a hard worker, but since having our beautiful twins find it very difficult to manage 3 days of work (and they're not even 8 hour days), taking care of babies, housework, etc.. The days that I am home, I often wonder if I'm spending too much time with the laundry, housework, etc. instead of spending time with the boys; but the laundry and dishes are not going to wash themselves."

Don't Beat Yourself Up -- You're Not Alone

"You're NOT crazy and this is normal (or at least it's normal for me too!) Except for the fact that I'm working full-time instead of part-time, I could have written your post! BDDT!! (been there, doing that!) We have a nanny who does a lot of the housework, but there's always more 'business' to be done....."

"To be fair, I do have a cleaning service come in every two weeks. Other things just don't get done as often as they used to and we've learned to live with it! My thought was that I could spend my *at home* time with the kids or cleaning the house. Since I took a step back in my *career* with an associated cut in pay so that I could spend more time at home with the babies, it made more sense to spend that time with the kids rather than doing housework. Admittedly, my house would never pass the white glove test now, but anyone who wants to comment can feel free to sweep/dust/mop."

"When they were younger, I was pleased as punch when I was able to take a bath that day, let alone get anything else done besides make bottles. Now it is getting easier, but I'd much rather spend my time with them - so I do."

Change your Expectations to Match the Situation

"I used to be a clean freak. I would vacuum daily, dust constantly, clean the microwave, the fridge, etc. Its taken me awhile, but I realized, besided doing the cleaning and laundry basics, no one else cares if I get the house dusted, or get the grape juice splashes off the fridge."

"I guess more than anything, I realized its MY state of mind. I have to be okay with the house a little less tidy than it would be, had I not had twins. But what would I rather have - an impeccable house or 2 angels in my life? Hmmmmmmmm..."

"One thing that I have noticed, though, is that there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. Yes, I do the laundry (along with much help from [my husband]), do the dishes, and do SOME vacuuming, but I don't think I've dusted since the girls' 1st birthday party [5 months ago]."

"Lower your standards. My house will never be all clean at the same time while I have kids -- the essential things get done, just not all at the same time, and not as often as before I had kids. Try to get some housework done while the kids are awake -- take a moment while they're occupied with something to throw the laundry in the washer, or even just get started sorting it out. One little thing done here and one little thing done there can add up."

"It does get better. Our guys are 1 yr old and walking, babbling terrors! But loads of fun. Enjoy them while they can't get away too easily!"

Involve the kids

"I think alot of it is just having little ones around. After about age 3 or 4 they can help alot and do more things for themselves!"

"Anyway, we've got 6 1/2 mo old fraternal boys. I always feel guilty about not spending enough time with them, too! A couple of things have helped me mentally -- maybe they'll help you, too.

"The girls (now 17 months) are getting to the age where they like to mimic me, and it might be fun to start showing them how to do certain things (of course I don't expect it to really get done)."

Organize and use routines

"First, I want to say that the first year is extremely hard no matter what you do, just hang on for the ride, it really will be over before you know it. Organize, organize, organize, we had our nightly routine each night after supper and kids in bed, fixed the bottles for the next day, fixed lunches, got everything ready for the next day."

"My [husband] usually handles the [meal] preparation when we get home (helps that he is a director of catering for a large hotel) while I feed the girls. He also is able to take [our older son] out to play while dinner is warming up. We make bottles the night before and bags are packed and ready to go to day care the next morning."

"Some of the things that have helped me are to develop a list of things that need doing and them try to get the daily things done every day at the same time (i.e., prepare bottles for the next day, bathe babies, etc.). I do laundry when the kids are awake and use their nap times for folding and putting away. To save time and reduce the work load, we use paper plates for our meals (sounds awful, but it works) which means I only have to wash pots, pans and utensils. I use as many *make in advance* meals as possible and have started cooking in much larger quantities so that we eat one portion and freeze another."

"I keep a running list of things I need to tell the day care provider. I have a nanny that comes into my house, and I keep a pad handy on which I write notes to her. This way, as I think of things, I just write them down and that way I won't forget anything. She also writes notes back to me on the same pad."

"I run errands during my lunch hour when necessary. You can do a lot in an hour!"

"We keep one of those magnetic writing boards on the fridge. It has 2 columns, one for [my husband] and one for me. As the week goes on, we each write in our column the things we need to get done over the weekend. Then on Thursday or Friday evening, we go over the list and decide what the priorities are and when they will get done. I think this tool has saved our marriage several times!"

Be proactive

"Prepare everything for the morning the night before: set out clothes (or at least decide what everyone will wear ); prepare lunches and breakfast to the extent possible; put together whatever you need to go to work the next day."

"I make sure that I get up early so that I have enough time to do everything I need to do in the AM without rushing. Things tend to get lost or broken when I rush. (I also go to bed early...)"

"We found that one thing that really helped us was a daily and weekly checklist. We had things that had to be done in the mornings (e.g., pack bottles, pack diaper bag, feed dog), things that had to be done every night (e.g., wash bottles, make formula for next day, charge cell phone, take out kitchen trash, bath babies), and things that got done on only certain nights or weekend days (e.g., put out trash, laundry, empty diaper genie, water plants, grocery shopping, plan week's menus). It didn't give us any less work, but it did make it more relaxing because we knew when we were 'done' for the day and we could enjoy being with the babies instead of constantly thinking about what work we could be getting done. We even had 'print out new checklist' on Sunday's list of tasks.

Simplify to make things easy on yourself

"Use paper plates and napkins when possible. Consider grocery delivery services. Be creative in thinking about take-out options - we live on takeout. (Of course, that will (hopefully) change once the boys aren't eating baby food....)"

"The best things that we have done to manage time is to prioritize and simplify. We found things that must get done (dishes and laundry etc) and tried to make it easier to keep up with. Do it as we go. Found things that should be done, and do those when we can. Set aside time for projects (where to find it!). Found stuff that could wait - sweeping and vacuuming non baby areas, washing the car, clean out the fridge - and do those when both of us are around and we can't think of anything better to do (or when something gets so gross...) Eliminated stuff - we stopped using a bathroom so that we did not have to clean it!"

"I try to shop without the kids and when the stores are less crowded. Goes a LOT faster that way. I also keep a list on the fridge and write down when we run out of things. I try to grocery shop once a week; I usually have to run to get milk and fruit once in between but I stop on my way home from work."

"When my kids were on formula, I made a big pitcher of formula - enough for one day - and kept it in the fridge and filled bottles as needed."

"We eat quick meals during the week - canned soup; fish; leftovers from the weekend. In the summer we grill a lot because that usually is quick. I try to make extra food on the weekend so we can have leftovers during the week."

"I don't worry too much about how clean the house is but I usually stay on top of dishes and laundry, since machines do most of that work. Those kind of chores, it seems to me, can be done in small increments, which allow you to spend a lot of time with the kids. Many times I've sorted and folded clothes with the kids in the middle of the pile! On my day off, I try to set a goal of one or two chores to do that day. If I get them done - great. But if not, at least I tried."

"I use babywipes to wipe the bathroom sink and toilet when someone is coming over and I just don't have time to clean. Or for when three learning toileter/handwasher/toothbrushers have made things pretty grungy (like every night)."

~ Keeping up with the Housework ~

I have a question. I feel that my house is always in shambles. I can't keep up it seems and I may go crazy trying! My husband is not bothered by mess or clutter so a lot of the pick up falls on me. That's fine, he has tons to do already. How have people managed to deal with the chaos of their lives? I have a huge playroom but the mess spreads around the house. I am constantly picking up little shorts, socks, shoes, matchbox cars, little plastic people, beanie babies, cheerios-I hate the feeling of cheerios stuck to my bare feet! My kitchen floor is a mosaic of mac and cheese, spaghetti, peas, crud that I have no clue..........and it goes on and on. I swear daily maintenance takes 2 hours so forget about big jobs like closets, bill organization, windows, stoves.....HELP!!! I am not obsessive but I do feel my children deserve a somewhat clean environment to be in."

--twins-l member

Bring in the Recruits

"We use laundry baskets and boxes in the living room to keep the toys in so they're easy to put away, and my almost 4 year old boys DO help. ... They don't have official chores, but they know that: their dirty clothes *always* go in the laundry basket; shoes need to be taken off in the kitchen or else put there after they take them off; when they're done with a meal the dishes go on the kitchen counter; they don't get out a new batch of toys until they've put away what they're playing with, unless they want to spend a LOT of time picking up; etc. Just getting them to help out on the little things ends up being a *big* help -- and as they get older, they'll end up helping out more."

"As hard as it is, try and have the whole family pitch in sometimes, so you don't get so overwhelmed feeling like a clean house is totally your responsibility. It seems like when I have to do it myself it takes me hours, but when I have dh and the kids (as much as they are able) pitching in we can pick up the whole house in about an hour even when it is a disaster area."

"We use the "clean up" song to make clean up a fun event. Even at 22 months, the boys understand that they need to help out."

"The trick that finally worked for me was that anything that was still out at the end of the day, went into my closet. And stayed there until he needed a reward for something. (Or bribe.)"

Find Other Ways to Get Help

"Our house was the same way until we broke down and hired a cleaning service a few weeks ago. I realized I hadn't vacuumed or dusted in a month and decided I'd had enough!"

"Could you farm the kids out for a couple of hours once a week or once every couple of weeks? That way you could at least get the basics done...... DH and I can really cruise through even the larger cleaning/organizing stuff if the kids aren't underfoot."

"Get up before your kids (I know, sleep is so precious...). It is amazing how much you can get done in 1/2 hr if no one else is awake!"

Know You're Not Alone

"Mostly I think I've just gotten used to the mess, and used to the idea that my house won't really be clean for a few more years. ... Until the time comes that they're helping enough that my house can *really* be clean again, I just try not to look too closely!!"

"If it makes you feel any better, we got new windows [5 years ago] and have never cleaned them, and we only do closets when we have to (i.e. change of seasons or we just plain run out of room!). I can't remember the last time we cleaned the oven - heck, I can't even remember the last time we USED the oven! (LOL, ok, not quite true but still...)"

Contain the Clutter

"I got a large net style hamper (the kind with the PVC frame) and put it in my hallway which is close to my family room - where we spend most of our time. All the dirty laundry gets immediately thrown in. Also, a child's size plastic rake is a good way to scoop all the mess into a corner where you can sort it out. Somehow it seems more manageable to me like this rather than laid out all across the room. I don't know if this would be possible, but we gated off our kitchen and so avoid the problems with the little guys getting into the fridge and pantry."

"Always feed the kids in a place that is controlable. My twins don't even get milk except sitting in the high chairs. My six year old has his own chair and a plastic place mat, so I don't have to get upset about what gets spilled on it. And anything that gets dropped to the ground gets picked up that second. Two hours later, I won't even remember about it, and I'll step on it for SURE."

"Take the toys and books out of the living room! When your kids are older, get rid of the baskets of toys and books in the living room. I think they worked great when the kids were small--we could pick up fast by just throwing things in the basket. Now that my youngest are approaching three, we made the switch this weekend. Added a bookcase to the twin's room and put all the books and toys in there. I also got rid of all the baby toys that they had outgrown. So now it seems more manageable and there is a "place for everything". It seems to really be helping with the living room clutter so far."

A little at a time

"...on my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee I pick up stuff on the floor . And I try and leave a basket at the bottom of the stairs for things that are down stairs that need to be up stairs, so I make one or 2 trips instead of 90. I always keep the dirty clothes in the laundry room so there is always something on the floor in there. I throw a load of laundry in when passing by the laundry room. I throw the clean clothes in the den on the sofa and fold when I have time."

Organize

"I bought a shelf with many open bins in it. I spent a few days organizing all the toys and then I moved this shelf with bins INTO ANOTHER ROOM! The bins come out, one by one. Large gallon size zip lock bags also work well. The key is to have most toys with small pieces up off the floor on a shelf, (or in a closet) if possible. All our puzzles are on a shelf with their pieces in plastic bags."

"I have also drastically reduced the number of little toys that I had accumulated. I just closed my eyes and dumped it all in a bag to give to charity. I kept all the toys that had some educational value i.e., used some sort skill as opposed to the gazillions of McDonald's type toys that were laying around."

"We used to have a laundry basket in each room and do the laundry once per week or so. That got overwhelming. Now we throw the dirties down the stairs and dh or I put in a load of wash or change one to the dryer whenever we go down there. We also bought lots of baskets so if we don't get to fold everything right away it's ok."

"The other thing i've done is buy a dry erase board that I give myself duties on a monthly basis. So, for instance, the 2nd week of the month is thoroughly clean the bathroom and wash all the pillows....the third weekend might be clean the walls and the cabinets, etc. This way, at least everything gets cleaned on a monthly basis."

~ Spills & Stains ~

Over the years, list members have shared a variety of "clean-up" remedies for common (and not so common) spills and stains. The following is a compilation of those tips and stories. As always, there are no guarantees because YMMV (your mileage may vary).

Chewing Gum

(in hair) "Peanut butter -- believe it or not, it works like a charm! (Somehow it dissolves the stickiness, then just shampoo the whole mess out.) A friend of mine used it on her daughter when she had similar "fun". good luck!"

"Does anyone have any suggestions for removing chewing gum from clothes AFTER they have been washed? It's too late for freezing and peeling, and I'm not sure if it's also too late for that peanut butter remedy. Any other ideas?"

Stickers

"I found with my older 2 daughters that to remove stickers from furniture I used a cotton ball with baby oil on it. ... Warning dont put baby oil on walls for it leaves an oil stain."

"We peel off the paper/vinyl part of the sticker, then for the gummy residue you just cover it with a light layer of Vaseline, of all things, and let it sit for about an hour. The gummy stuff wipes right off; I guess the Vaseline reacts with it and takes away the stickiness. Doesn't harm the wood finish like isopropyl alcohol (also very effective) does."

"(sticker residue off laundered clothes) I found the most amazing product just for this purpose. It is called "Motsenbocker's Lift Off 2". It is marketed as a tape remover and works on adhesives, grease and oily stains. I found it at the local Target store."

"(continued)My daughter's favorite fleece sweater was washed with a sticker and I figured that there goes an entire outfit. Wrong! A few spritzes of this stuff and the sticker was gone. The worst thing about this stuff is that it smells very "chemically" and if you use too much you might have to wash the clothes twice to get the smell out."

"Try Goo Gone - it works wonders with stickers and doesn't seem to "stain" the fabrics - I get mine at the grocery store, but I've also seen it at fabric stores and hardware stores, as well."

"(in regards to using Vaseline on fabrics) Yes, it could ruin some fabrics and because vaseline is not water soluable it is very hard to wash out. ... Alcohol is also ok for most fabrics, watch the fine synthetics."

Crayons

"We used baking soda mixed with white vinegar on a sponge (make a paste) to get crayon marks off wallpaper. Worked like a charm!"

"I don't know how to help you get the crayon off, but once you take care of that I have another suggestion.......Every "non-washable" crayon that anyone has ever given my two budding young artists has gone into the trash! I've been lucky enough to have only nightmares about your situation. We have lots of crayons, but all washable."

Floors, Carpet & Upholstery Stains

"Back when the girls were into dropping eggs on the kitchen floor while "helping" mommy, I was told to pour salt on top of the whole mess. It really solidifies it and makes it so much easier to clean up ... Not sure how it would work on carpets though!!!!!"

"for the carpet stains, I've had really good luck with a product called Totally Toddler. It's a stain remover for the laundry but works really well on carpet and appolstry also. I have only found it at Walmart and Target and it's pretty cheap. $1.99 per bottle."

For the smell...
"Have you tried Febreeze? I used it on our bed when my daughter was sick and vomitted up orange pedialyte and formula all over it. (Actually I also used the totally toddler on it as well) Not even a hint of a smell is left. And it was the next morning before I was able to take the Febreeze to it, since I didn't have any on hand and it was 2:30 am after a really bad day."

"I just bought this totally amazing stuff called EAZE-OUT (for clothing). Even though it didn't mention carpet stains, I took a chance and used it on a 2 year old formula stain that had resisted all other efforts. It took one drop on a toothbrush (I dampened the carpet beforehand)and there's no trace of a stain anywhere and no discolouration either. Well, I just went to town on ALL our stained clothes and furniture and I'm so thrilled with this stuff. It's a Canadian product and there's a North America tollfree # on the back... 1-888-EASE-OUT. It cost $8.00 Canadian."

"There is a magical product called Folex, which is wonderful for taking stains out of carpets and upolstery. It is usually sold in carpet or hardware stores. ... my local grocery store (City Market--part of the Kroger chain) is now carrying it. It is not smelly or toxic, and you just spray some on, and rub the carpet and the stains really do disappear."

Laundry Stains (including formula)

"I use a detergent booster called "AMAZE" on all my girls clothes. It is great! The girls are six months old and we have yet to have a stain on anything (formula, apple juice, veggies and fruit have all come out!) It's just amazing (pardon the pun!)."

"The best thing that I have found to work is SHOUT. I buy it by the case!!! I had a major league spitter-upper and this got out everything. It even got out stains from when my 3 yr old wore the clothes the first time around!! On a tough stain (blood, orange veggies, etc) I let it sit overnight. Otherwise, I spray when I sort clothes to wash. On stuff I know will be hard to get out, I spray when I throw it in the dirty clothes. I swear, this stuff is the best stain remover around!"

"I just wanted to let everyone know of a great formula stain remover I just started using. It is called ZOUT. Not Shout, but ZOUT. I bought it at Jewel, but I am not sure what other stores sell it. I pulled my 3 year old daughter's clothes out of the attic to wash for my 4 month old. Just about every piece of clothes had very bad yellow formula stains. They seemed to have gotton worse over time. I tried to wash them in Dreft and the stains didn't even budge. I then poured a little Zout on the stains, let them sit for about 15 minutes, and washed. Almost all of the stains disappeared. I did have to wash some of the super bad stains twice, but the clothes are now wearable. You can't even see a trace of the stain on most."

Here's a laundry recipe that has come up on the list more than once:
"1 cup Cascade (dishwashing powder), 1 cup Clorox color safe bleach (powder), and a washing machine full of hot water (or as hot as the fabrics can handle). Fill the machine and let agitate with the detergent in it for a minute or so before you add the clothes. LEt the clothes agitate for a couple of minutes, then turn the machine off and let the clothes soak over-night. Finish the cycle, and then run a full cycle to make sure you get all the soap out ( you can put fabric softner in at the appropriate time during this cycle. ... It really does work!!"

"Thanks so much for all the replies regarding my yucky yellow iron stains but only one thing worked really really well. I always use Spray and Wash and that usually gets any stain out but these were particularly stuborn. What worked right away was Pro 409 (degreasser and all purpose spray). It is yucky green but got the stain out right away."

"There is a magical product called Folex, which is wonderful for taking stains out of carpets and upolstery. It is usually sold in carpet or hardware stores. ... as my local grocery store (City Market--part of the Kroger chain) is now carrying it. It is not smelly or toxic, and you just spray some on, and rub the carpet and the stains really do disappear."

"Mother's Helper, best darn stain removal product I ever used! It gets formula, blood, grass, oil, tomato-based sauces, you-name-it out in a single application. I've only found it available at baby-specific stores, not Toys R Us or Babies R Us, either. It's expensive, too, at $8.25 per 12 oz. bottle... But still worth it. "

"I use Dawn dish detergent on stubborn stains (permanent marker, blood, grass stains etc...) and what I do is squirt the detergent right on the stain and use a tooth brush and scrub a little let it sit over night then wash it and it really works!!!! Ive gotten red permanent marker out of my daughters brand new white shirt and red koolaid out of the same white shirt and it looks brand new."

"One thing that I find works on all kinds of stains is using a bar of ivory soap. Using very little water......form an ivory soap film over the stain by rubbing the bar over it. Then wash as usual. It has worked for us & [our son] was the king of spitting up."

"Amway makes a wonderful stain removal it's called Prewash. It has taken all of my kid's stains out including red punch!"

"I use Spray -n- Wash and it works very well on formula stains. Be sure to get it with the first wash after the stain. Not as well on poopy and solid food stains but sometimes it works on those too. It's very affordable and available everywhere. "

"For formula, and all other clothing- stains, I keep a "Biz Bucket" going at all times - Biz detergent and warm water. - Just throw any stained garments in and let them soak til they go in the washer (sometimes they sit in there for days). Keeps the whites really white and takes out just about all stains."

Wet Photographs

"Photographic paper is processed wet. A little (as in within reason) water won't hurt it at all. Trying to peel the prints apart without water will almost certainly destroy them.

"In this case I got them while they were still wet and one end was basically dry. I was able to separate them by just running water between prints from the "dry" end. If they had dried a little I probably would have had to soak them. The key to soaking them is to make sure not to do it so long that the edges of the paper separate.

"After separating the prints lay them out on a clean towel to dry. Make sure they aren't touching or they will stick.

"Negatives can also be washed. It's best to hang them to dry. A clothespin could be used on the very corner. If you do have to wash them and then need to make reprints it's probably best to have the photo lab rewash them. (Normal water will leave a slight film.) I got lucky. The open end of the sleeve sheet was out of the water."

~ Keeping Up With Meals ~

Here are a variety of tips that parents of multiples have used to help keep mealtime running smoothly.

Plan ahead

"One thing that helped me when I worked full time and my older son was really little was to 'cook' stuff one day on the weekend and put it in the freezer. Then you have home cooked food ready to be put in the microwave."

"If you can try to sit down at the beginning of the week and plan out your meals each night that helps too, then you only have to get out what you need for the next night."

Keep meals simple

"If you work all day you need a good crockpot and a recipe book. When I was working all day I would cook almost every "fresh" meal in the crockpot so it would be ready when we got home from work."

"Also, during the week I fix a lot of fast food type meals: sloppy joes, soft tacos, etc that basically take just cooking the hamburger meat which takes about 15 mins to fix even if the meat is frozen. (I double this amount too so I can freeze one batch for another night.) Once you start cooking this way, you get a supply of frozen food pretty quickly, then you can take it out before work, and as soon as you get home stick it in the oven or just fix individual plates and microwave.

"One thing we do is buy some ready made chicken nuggets, frozen fish fillets, etc and the more expensive frozen skinless chicken breasts that cook quickly. I figure this is more expensive than buying it and doing it myself but it is much cheaper than eating out for these type meals. We are big into instant mashed potatoes or microwave "baked" potatoes which take about 15 mins to fix. Add some veggies, fresh fruit and a salad and you have a pretty good meal. Stir-fry chicken and vegs is easy too, get all the fresh veggies out of your frigde, cut up that boneless chicken breast and it's ready in about 15 mins.

Make use of the weekends

"One weekend a month (sometimes two) we make a massive purchase at the grocery store. We spend the rest of the weekend taking turns making meals and putting them in the freezer. We do casseroles, pasta sauces, stir-fry, etc. Then we take something out in the morning and by the time we get home it is defrosted and ready to go in the oven, stove or whatever. Open up canned vegetables to go along with main course and dinner is served"

Once a month cooking plans

"I have a book called Once-a-Month Cooking. It has detailed instructions on how to spend one weekend a month shopping and cooking and freezing, and have food prepared for the whole month! It is a very cool concept. However, I found that I didn't use it, because the recipes were for a way that we don't cook -- using prepared soup, mayonnaise, canned foods, etc. But if that is your style of cooking, or you are willing to convert it to using fresh ingredients, I highly recommend it! Name: Once-A-Month Cooking, by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg, St. Martin's Press, NY

"There is a company on the web called the 30 Day Gourmet that has made a business out of this- they have a great book about the process - from shopping to cooking - as well as the recipes. Another list I've recently joined is called the frozen-assets list and it is GREAT. Loaded with recipes for everything - including breakfast and laundry detergent- as well as dinners. That list is big into saving money as well as cooking ahead."